


she's got a boyfriend, anyway.

by deanslist



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Cheating, song prompt, sort of :|
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 23:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18861379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanslist/pseuds/deanslist
Summary: lena didn’t know what heartbreak was until she experienced one herself.--from anon request: Can you write something inspired by the 1975 song sex





	she's got a boyfriend, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> is it just me or am i writing very similar themes in my fics...
> 
> but anyway, not beta'd! enjoy. :)

lena first met kara when they were barely teenagers. two adolescents who shared a love for science were bound to form a particular bond that no other people within their class were meant to have.

they did everything together as soon as they realized that they shared more than just a fascination for chemicals and possible time travels. they shared their food, their answers in homework ( though it’s mostly to verify that they’re correct, and they always were ), their happy times and sad times –

most especially, they shared each other’s first kiss.

it’s nothing romantic.

for lena, it was just so she could get it over and done with. her classmates always raved about first kisses and first dates and first… times, but she didn’t have time for that. the only first she wanted was  _first place_  in the honor roll, and so, one night, she acquired the help of her best friend to get rid of such unnecessary problem in her life.

“kiss me,” she said one night, and very nearly took it back when kara began turning into a human firetruck pretty quickly, a sharp contrast to her room’s idle, black and white theme.

“u-um, I don’t know-”

“don’t worry,” she said while adjusting on her bed, trying to be as reassuring as she could possibly sound. “it’s not because I like you or anything. I just really want to get rid of my first kiss. I know you’re busy with school too, so let’s just tick off our first kiss and focus on academics.”

and a part of her would always feel bad for taking away what could have possibly been a magical moment for kara. because kara was a romantic, and this she knew very well. she was always the one who’d suggest watching Disney movies, or anything that had to do with happily ever after’s, while lena would suggest documentaries or horror movies. she would always wonder about butterflies in stomachs and zero gravity when kissing someone she genuinely loved.

but lena took that away from her, and at such a young age, when she knew nothing but straight A’s and honor rolls with her best friend by her side, she really couldn’t care any less.

/

kara didn’t seem to resent her for that, if their stronger friendship was anything to go by.

senior high school came around and they’re still best friends. lena was still the one who had kara after school. they still shared food and answers and beautiful or upsetting moments – because that’s what best friends do.

until one person came into the picture, and suddenly, those things weren’t what this pair of best friends did.

kara met mike at a school play. mike was one of those high school celebrities, famous for his acting and singing, and though lena loathed to admit it, he was actually good at what he did.

so, it was no surprise when kara began falling for him and his floating notes.

it was no surprise when kara began preferring his musical numbers over lena’s monotonous scientific methods and mathematical operations. it was no surprise when kara, at eighteen, somehow began dancing to songs as if she’d been born a dancer, even when she’s not. it was no surprise when lena found herself going home alone, because kara’s staying late in school to watch mike rehearse with his friends.

it was no surprise when, one morning, kara skipped her way toward lena’s locker and  _smothered_  her with her warm embrace while informing her that mike asked her to be her girlfriend yesterday and she said yes.

kara said yes, and she’s excited to tell her best friend about her first boyfriend, while her best friend thought she was going to throw up.

still, she was no one if not a luthor, so her lips parted to show her delighted grin and congratulated her best friend for achieving another milestone in life.

_and after your first boyfriend, you’re going to have your first date, your first touch, your first embrace with your first boyfriend, your first sex—_

lena didn’t want to think about other first time’s.

she only cared about being first place in class.

/

so, they got over high school and somehow, they’re in college and they’re taking over their respective programs like storms.

lena, more than kara, because one night, during sophomore year, lena found out that kara and mike broke up for some unknown reason.

well, considering the fact that mike was, as expected, ncu’s current best theater student and kara was the engineering department’s darling genius, the entire university knew why they broke up.

mike got carried away during one of his scenes and kissed his leading lady a little too much. the theater geeks comforted kara and said it’s normal to get carried away, but it was a hard pill to swallow for kara, because she’d seen mike  _act_  before, and what she witnessed hadn’t been acting.

it was so much more. it had been imra ardeen, and kara knew it’d been more than just acting.

but this, lena didn’t know, because she didn’t care.

she just cared about coming out as first in class.

/

it’s been two months since kara and mike broke up.

kara and lena were back to bonding as often as they did as teenagers, if not more. especially since lena somehow managed to get her hands on a 1962 Volkswagen kombi turned brand new by a friend, whose program involved cars and all that jazz. it didn’t seem like the type of car she’d like to have, yes, she’d admit that, but… well, kara had her hippie flare every now and then, and experiencing a Kombi was one of the things she wanted to do before dying.

and lena, well, she was kara’s best friend in the entire world. of course, she’d get her a goddamn kombi.

“this is so cool,” kara said in awe (again) as she tucked herself under her comforter, feet sticking out the minibus’ backdoor while staring up at the starry sky. “I didn’t know this car was a convertible.”

no, it wasn’t. when lena bought it, it was a typical minibus, with boring seats and a boring,  _permanent_  roof, but as mentioned before, lena knew someone, and somehow the boring minibus turned into a mini _house_  with a sliding roof.

“mhm,” lena hummed softly. “lucky buy. all i had to do was polish it, really.”

kara laughed softly, and lena wasn’t sure if it’s because she was thinking of how lucky she was to be in a Volkswagen kombi or if it’s because she didn’t believe lena.

lena chose not to wonder too much.

/

it was later at midnight when kara stirred and scooted closer to lena’s side of the car.

“lena,” kara called out softly, and lena responded with a soft, inquisitive hum.

“what?”

“do you remember our first kiss?”

of course, lena remembered her first kiss. it was dull, it was lips touching lips, it was kara frozen against her, it was her toes feeling… things, but it was just a kiss.

and it was her only kiss, so yeah, she remembered.

“why?”

a beat, and then, “I don’t remember it.”

 _oh_.

of course, kara wouldn’t remember her first kiss. it was dull, it was lips touching lips, it was kara  _uncomfortable—_

 _“_ I want to remember.”

 _what_.

lena was dumbfounded, and all she did was stare at kara as though she’d grown a second head, but kara was nothing if not determined.

before lena could bring up the  _only_  possible reason why kara would suddenly be bringing up their kiss, kara was already  _on_  her, her weight and warmth familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. and she’s looking down at lena as if she was seeing her for the first time, eyes slowly lowering down to where lena’s lips were parted because she couldn’t remember how to breathe normally through her nose.

“kara-”

“I want to remember, lena.”

and lena wanted to protest because it’s not right. it’s not healthy. kara was obviously still recovering from her first heartbreak, but she was too late to remind the blonde about that because a pair of soft lips have claimed hers and her second kiss.

her eyes fluttered closed as her heart hammered against her chest. she didn’t know what to do with her hands –  _does she reach out and cup kara’s cheeks? does she wrap her arms around her neck? –_ and she didn’t know how to start responding to kara’s demanding kiss.

this was her second kiss, and she didn’t know what to do. thankfully, kara seemed to sense this, so she broke away from lena’s lips with a soft sound. her eyes that held the ocean were hidden behind her eyelids as she breathed heavily as if trying to catch more air than she needed.

“kara…” lena whispered softly, her hands finally moving up to caress the blonde’s cheek gently. “what’s wrong?”

“I want to forget.”

and it was the most confusing answer lena had ever gotten in her life. because one moment, kara wanted to remember, and now she wanted to forget.

“what do you mean, kara?” she sighed. “talk to me.”

“I want to forget the pain,” kara murmured, and then slowly, as she opened her eyes to meet lena’s, she continued, “but I want to remember how it feels like to be  _okay_.”

there were so many things wrong with what kara wanted, lena knew this much, but kara’s eyes were starting to pool with tears, her adorable nose was reddening, and… she was leaning down again to capture lena’s lips with hers, and lena decided to ignore the protest in her lips.

/

that night started many  _firsts’_ in lena’s life.

after relenting to kara’s kisses, lena experienced her first make out.

and her first (of the many) orgasm.

/

_when lena’s arms nervously snaked around kara’s neck in the midst of their kiss, she suddenly found herself being flipped over. breaking away from the kiss with a gasp, she realized she was on top of her best friend, who seemed very far from bothered by her weight._

_“kara, I could be squishing you-” she said as lifted herself off of kara, but the blonde held onto her arms and sat up._

_“no,” kara shook her head, moving her hands down to lena’s waist. “I like it. I like feeling you on top of me.”_

_and lena should be asking where all of these were coming from – why kara seemed so eager to have lena, when only two days ago, lena was comforting kara from yet another tissue-wasting marathon._

_but she was deprived of coherent thoughts when she felt kara’s hand on the back of her head, fingers threading through thick, silky hair. her eyes were earnest, locking on lena’s even as she pressed her forehead against the brunette._

_“can I kiss you again?”_

_and despite all lingering protests in her mind, lena felt herself nodding, and it was all the permission kara needed to claim her lips once more._

_it started slowly, as if kara was scared of making lena pull away again by being too eager, but when lena showed no signs of doing so, kara began kissing her with more urgency. her fingers, which were still buried in lena’s hair, curled into a fist and lena responded with a soft gasp, making her lips part, and kara took that opportunity to introduce her tongue with a soft flick of it against lena’s lower lip._

_it was then that lena felt **that**  feeling again in her toes, spreading all her over feet that made them curl, and then up her legs and thighs and —curiously – stopping between her legs._

_it was a feeling both welcomed, and not._

_it was a feeling that lena found herself chasing after by initiating the kiss for the first time, effectively taking kara’s breath away, and lena felt her lips curl into a smug smirk because – she did that._

_she made kara’s breath hitch. even as she cluelessly kissed and licked and nipped on kara’s lips, she could feel kara’s eager response in the way her hands found her hips again and squeezed, sending yet another delicious pressure between her thighs. she tried squeezing her thighs together, unsure whether it would give her relief yet somehow **knowing**  that it would, but kara gave her hips another squeeze and urged her to relax._

_“move your body against me,” she whispered, lips brushing against lena’s as she began guiding lena’s body. “it will help.”_

_and lena was stiff. she didn’t exactly know how to **move**  against someone’s body, but kara was patient and willing to teach._

_soon enough, lena was pressing down hard against kara’s stomach with every roll of her hips, gasping softly every time she’d pass over the buckle of kara’s belt._

_and then, she was soaring and falling at the same time, as kara swallowed her moans in their kiss._

/

kara and lena made out at the back of lena’s minibus for a grand total of five times, on different days, before lena heard the news that kara and mike were back together.

of course, what lena felt was more of curiosity and disbelief than… anything else.

so, she dragged kara into the women’s bathroom one day and confronted her about it.

“you’re back with mike?”

kara had the grace to look ashamed. “yes-”

“when?” lena demanded.

“… yesterday.”

“and I’m only hearing about this today, why?” lena huffed, her anger already flaring inside her chest. “you were  _licking_  my neck yesterday night, kara. you are many things, but you are  _not_  a cheater.”

kara flinched at the word, and all lena wanted to do was pull her in her arms and hug her and squeeze her pain away, but it was so fucked up of kara to make her the  _other woman_ , even when she wasn’t kara’s woman in the first place.

“I know…” kara shook her head, tongue swiping across drying lips. “I’m sorry. I just…” she glanced up at lena, looking so helpless while pressed up against one corner, appearing so small compared to the shorter woman for the first time.

“you just what, kara?” lena asked, frustrated.

“I just can’t stop, okay?” kara reached up and raked her fingers through her hair, ruining her perfect ponytail. “I just… can’t. I— he reached out to me and apologized and… he said he’s not going to do it again, and I’m happy, you know? I’m happy that he’s eager for a second chance and… and it’s all I’ve been hoping for since we broke up…”

“then, you shouldn’t have kissed me last night. kara, you do realize that what you did was no different to what mike did you to you?” lena huffed, placing her hands on her hips as she paced back and forth inside the bathroom. and then, as if realizing something, she stopped and turned to kara with a frown, “you’re not… using me as revenge, are you? because that is  _so_  fucked up, kara-”

“lena, no!” as if finally finding her strength, kara pushed away from the wall and stalked towards lena, making the latter walk backwards until she’s the one who’s pressed up against the sink, barely stifling a gasp at the slight zip of pain on the small of her back because of the impact. kara’s hands slammed on the granite counter, trapping lena between them. “I would never do that to you, do you understand? i- i admit that what I did was wrong but…” she trailed off, jaws clenching and then relaxing as her gaze found lena’s lips. “i… I couldn’t… I don’t want to stop kissing you…”

“kara…”

“I don’t want to stop kissing you. it’s the only time I feel like I’m  _truly_ happy.”

and god, lena knew it was wrong and it didn’t make sense that kara was happy to have mike back, yet felt genuine happiness when kissing her best friend, but she was helpless when kara nudged her knees apart with her knees and wedged herself between lena’s thighs.

she was helpless when kara claimed her lips in a searing kiss, when nimble fingers undid the button and fly of her pants and slid into the tight confines of her underwear.

when she felt warm fingers against sleek heat, she whimpered softly and arched her back, momentarily trapping kara’s fingers between herself and the sink.

“k-kara…”

kara hushed her as she pulled her fingers from where they’re kept from moving, only to slide them over lena’s clit again when the latter moved just enough to give her space.

“I’ll take care of you,” kara cooed as she pressed gently against lena, biting her lip at the abundant wetness rapidly coating her fingers, and still couldn’t believe that she was the one making lena feel such exquisite sensation, the one who’s causing  _that_  look on lena’s face – parted lips, head thrown back, and eyes tightly shut – and the  _sounds_. the sounds lena was making, breathy moans and little whimpers and soft gasps for every time she’d give just enough pressure, for every time she’d speed up, as if  _finally_  letting lena reach that high, only to slow down again so she could hear that familiar whine spilling from lena’s lips, her soft, little pleas for release.

kara didn’t know if she could ever let this go.

/

and so their clandestine arrangement continued over the years.

just as kara and mike’s relationship  _prospered over the years._

/

_“fuck!”_

_lena panted breathlessly into the bed, her fingers clutching tightly onto the comforter as her body was wracked by overwhelming bliss._

_over the years, kara had developed more than just her intellectual strength. she found a love for physical activities – rock climbing, cycling, swimming, or just working out at the gym – and showed great growth in physical strength and stamina, and it manifested in her relentless thrusts behind lena, how her hips tirelessly fucked lena into the mattress._

_and god, it was all that she hoped for when she found **it**  online and imagined how kara would look like wearing it._

_how kara **would feel like**  inside her, urgently driving into her as she buried her face into the crook of lena’s neck and breathed roughly into her sensitive skin._

_and now, kara’s weight was deliciously pressing her down onto her bed as her hips slammed against her ass, moving in deliberate circles, which caused the toy inside her to shift and rub against places only kara knew how to reach and feel without actually being there._

_she sobbed her pleasure into the palm of her hand as she felt the beginnings of her pending orgasm, her walls clenching around the shaft as she tried to move against kara as much as she could, but she was pinned down by the blonde and made to keep still with another deep, long thrust, effectively taking her breath away as kara’s fingers found her aching clit in the midst of her grinding._

_it was all it took for lena to beg for kara to make her come, and it was all it took for kara to oblige._

_/_

they’re five years into their thirtieth year of living when they last talked about how wrong it was to  _keep_  on doing what they were doing behind mike’s back.

it was the same night when mike invited them all to a newly opened jazz bar in new york to celebrate his birthday and the opening night of his new broadway show. lena had  _full_  the mind of not showing up, but kara had begged (and let her tie her up and fuck her this time around), so naturally, lena went and decided to tolerate mike and the nagging voice at the back of her head, saying that she was a good for nothing bitch who couldn’t say no to her best friend.

she was nursing her fifth glass of scotch (she wasn’t sure how she’s still sitting up straight) when she heard the commotion behind her back, and for everything she did wrong since that night she first allowed kara to kiss her in that old minibus, turning around would be her greatest regret  _that night_  would be her greatest regret.

mike was on one knee, holding a small box containing what was obviously an expensive ring, and kara…

kara looked like he was offering her the world. there was a twinkle in her eyes that had never been directed to lena. there was a delight in her smile and laughter when she screamed yes and pulled mike up to kiss him in front of everyone in the bar.

lena fleetingly registered someone leaving her side – one of kara’s friends; sam, was it? – but she could never be sure, for all she felt was the tightening of her chest and the overwhelming  _need_  to find a place where she could curl up and cry for hours on ends.

because kara was going to get married to mike, and there was no way she’d let kara continue what they were doing because… she wasn’t a homewrecker.

no, no, she wasn’t.

“hey,” a voice interrupted her thoughts, and she was internally grateful because it stalled the tears from dropping from her eyes. “seems like your friend left you behind.”

it was the bartender, and she’s wearing an open smile. she’s probably referring to sam, the brunette – a friend of kara – but lena couldn’t help but shake her head bitterly and down her scotch in one go.

“she’s got a boyfriend, anyway.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are highly appreciated!
> 
> also, scream at me @dcanslist on tumblr/twitter


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